Attack, Attack, Attack.... should be my middle name!!!

So Grattan experience #2 was tonight. It went well, with me and Baar getting away on the first lap for a photo opportunity. Then I attacked a few more times as Ben Whitehead told me I should and finally a break with me in it got away. There were 5 WM Coast riders in it along with myself, Ben Whitehead, and a mystery man. I felt good when I attacked, but soon after the days of diarreha and vomitting caught up with me. I could barely hold wheels or make pulls at the front so i just hung tough. I found that my mind is really a lot more powerful than I give myself credit for. I ended up 7th out of about 60 guys I think, so not a bad days work. I got a huge boost of confidence when Danielle showed up, Thank you so much. I had to explain to the guys how I knew her and they all thought it was weird that I could still be friends with Kristi and her friends. Why is it weird, they are a great group of people. I should have my friends come out more to watch because I always come up big when they do. I can not lie though, I wanted to drop out about 5 laps in and then when we got away I thought I would not finish at all. I am so depleted right now, but with Danielle being there and her knowing how much I ride, I could not dissappoint. I want to show the people who actually give a shit about my cycling that I can be strong and hang with some of the best in Michigan. I told the guys after the race that i was working for them at the state champs RR this weekend and they just looked at me and said screw that we are working for you. So now I must rest and put some weight on my shoulders for a good result. I can't wait it should be a bloodbath. I learned a lot though tonight, about how to suffer, and boy did I do that. If anyone would have known how bad I really felt then they would understand this. I am strong though, I can not let my work and effort in this endeavor go to waste. Finally, I am going to watch History of Violence again, because it is an awesome flick. Ok, thanks again Nelle, I consider you a truly great friend, hell even my best friends from High School have never seen me race. Time to chill buddy!!! Later!

Giorno Per Giorno

Ah so i had a shitty day, but that can't ruin the fact that my ride was for once easy and good!!! I worked 9 hours today and that blew balls. But anywho, tomorrow is Grattan and it should be rainy again. I really want to race and just jam. I have to see what kind of stomach problems I have though, so that means getting up at 6 am to get to the doctor for some tests. I thought it was heat stroke but it has not subsided one bit. So today I spent either at work, on the toilet, with my head in the toilet, or trying not to vomit. Great day. I also picked up some Italian from the live Giro coverage ( see title of my blog). That means day by day. Other than that the Munchie Mart cams caught a guy who had a stolen credit card and bought 70 bucks worth of booze. So he is busted. I guess he stole a ladies purse with her credit cards in it, then went around to all the local stores buying stuff with it. At least that is what Officer Czarnowski says happened. He knew the exact time that the guy purchased the items from our store, amazing what technology can do. OK off to bed and onto a second movie. Just watched "Bad News Bears", the remake, and it was pretty damn funny. Now onto "History of Violence". Peace creeps!!!

A few more!!!

Cornering, notice my ripped arms!!! I mean fat arms!
At times that is how it feels, cramps suck!!!!
Me telling Louie I am good to go, you can drink that DP buddy!!!
A dicey corner, or so I thought it would be, not so!!!!
Doing all I know how to do, that is attack. Try and chase me!!!


Here are a few more pics from racing, I know I am a loser!!!

Logging it!!!

Jeremy is attacking late in the race, big surprise huh???
Pondering why I want to race 84 miles.... I think!
Josh and me hanging out, notice the guys that got dropped in the background!
Jeremy sprinting for the field win a lap early!!!
Pondering some more, why so long of a Road race?

Here are a few pictures from some races last season and this year at WMU....Thanks Bubbles. I noticed how much weight I really did lose over the winter, it shows in my face especially!!

Thursday- 3 Hours solo!
Friday- 3 Hours 15 Minutes, did some km's with Jacob and then with Kristi. Nice day out!!!
Saturday- 3 Hours 45 Minutes solo again.
Sunday- 3 Hours 30 Minutes solo. Big week of training!!!

Week Totals- 21 Hours 30 Minutes. 718 km's!!!

Monday- 5 Hours 15 Minutes solo. Very hot out, torched and heat stroke. Good ride! 168 km's

Torching the KM's

So i did a big ride today......solo. I got in about 170 KM's which is about 105-110 miles. It was a blast furnace and I payed for it as I now have some heat stroke. I am already tan but now I have an uber tan. ( uber = super) I had a very good week of training and I blocked out all of the pain in my body and just got on with the task at hand, epecially today. At one point my bottles were piss warm and I mean warm, and the girls at the Munch will atest to that. I had Erin and Carrie feel how warm they were and they just asked, " you were actually drinking that?" As long as it is wet it is good, well somewhat. I began hallucinating some time around 4 and a half hours. I found myself uncontrollably laughing at the dumbest things. Anyways I have also found a way to get out the door and feel comfortable for a little bit at the start of the ride. I put my bibs on and then hop in a freezing cold shower and it lasts for about 30 minutes. Better than nothing I guess. So in the next few weeks I am going to be a cycling machine. I am doing the state champs road race next Sunday in Muskegon. Then Kokomo TT in Kokomo Indiana on June 11, then Summer Solstice June 16-18. The Summer Solstice is a crit, 2 road races and a Time Trial in the span of about 48 hours, actually 38 hours, but thats cycling. This training should come in handy for these races. Also I may go to the State track and field finals this coming Saturday, an ex-teacher from my newspaper class sent me an email telling me I should stop by and say hi. I guess he ran into someone and he heard about my cycling and he wants me to come give the youngsters a pep talk. Being that I haven't been in the whole HS running community in a bit I may pass. Come on it has been 7 years and I do not need to be there. Who knows, I will already be in Grand Rapids for the race on Sunday, hopefully I can stay with Bubbles, Boer or Baar??? I dont want to wake up at 5:30 again for a race that is 102 miles. I need good sleep. Other than that I am very high on morale and confidence. I do not think I have ever been this psyched for tough races coming up. Until later, keep your fingers out of your nose and feet out of ur ass. Later!!!

Terminably insane!!!

I may be a bit insane or so I have heard. I also hear I may have a cult following with this damn blog. Nonetheless sorry for the delays in updates. What have I been up to? Well it is finally nice out and I was supposed to be racing my arse off this weekend, but the races of Quad cities were all full and The Great Race is a Cat 3 only race, and I do not want a suspension or a fine from USA cycling for racing as Louie, so I took the weekend away from racing. I have been riding my ass off though, seriously. I think I will have about 22 hours in after this weekend is said and done. Then next week I plan on doing Grattan again on Wednesday and on Sunday is the 102 mile state championship road race. You may think 102 miles is a lot, but it is manageable and only fitting that it is the state road race. I am doing comparatively well considering what I was doing last year. I really have no worries at the moment other than not being able to sleep well. I have some shit going on in my head about where and what I want to do with my life after this season is through. On a really good note we finally got our Smith Optics in and I will receive them on Wednesday at the latest. So now I am going to ride again for the second time today and try to be content. It is really a furnace out there today though. Good for the sun tan though. Oh yeah I am also planning on seeing what the BIG PRO's are made of and really what I am made of. I am planning on doing Summer Solstice in Ohio June 16-18, which consists of a night crit on Friday, a Road Race and Time Trial on Saturday, and another Road Race on Sunday. I am also planning on Fitchburg and that is where I will find out how good or bad I really am. It is a VERY big NRC stage race in Massachusetts. So I am getting prepared. Finally The Giro is OVER...... Basso annihilated the field winning the GC by 9:18. Lance who??????? Later!!!

So my comp suck and so does rain!!!

I have been having problems with my internet connection so that is why I have not updated lately!! Well in 2 days haha!!! So nothing really new other than my knee feels much better as of the past few days. Earlier tonight I had my first Grattan experience, and it was wet and oil slicked. This does not go well with Carbon rims. I was sliding my rear tire around nearly every little turn. This caused me to be hesitant and lose positions very easily. I did manage to attack for the first 8 laps or so..... every lap through i made an effort. I went there to do what I had planned and get a good workout in. These races go by so fast now, focus is definitely at an all time high. Also, my morale is at an all time high. I am strong but not smart, I just love making others hurt as well as myself. It did not help that The Priority boys had Richard England, Brent Bookwalter, and Brian Sheedy there. Rich is the Australian national criterium champion. That says enough if you know anything about cycling. When he attacked once he just drove like a damn motorcycle away from the group. It really sucks that I had the wrong equiptment today though because I had good legs, but when you do not want to crash in a training race, you do not risk anything..... So then I rode back to Dave's without getting lost and not knowing the way back, I got lucky. Other than that I am working tomorrow and Friday then a weekend full of races. I also met Dan Dubes today who just happens to be Danielle Hockstra's uncle....small world I guess. Anyways I also got to stop at the infamous gas station that Kristi and I rode to on Easter. The sad part is I never remember directions to get to anyones house unless I have been there multiple times, but I saw Egypt Valley road and I was going to stop in and say hi to her mom and dad, but I didn't know if that would go over well with them. I was happy though with putting the hammer down for a bit today..... it is truly what i was meant to be doing. Later all!!!
J_DUB

Monday- 2 Hours 30 Minutes.
Tuesday- 2 Hours.
Wednesday- AM 45 minute spin. PM 1 Hour warmup, Grattan, 30 Minute CD. 3 Hours 30 Minutes.

nobody knows!!!

So a good day today, other than work... Well not really, I ran into an old flame while I was riding and she stopped me to talk. She was saying how she missed me and wanted to contact me but didn't know how I would react. So I came out and told her I am much happier without her in my life at all. The weird thing is that it wasn't hard at all. I may be destined to be alone... I got to thinking about her after we parted ways and all I could remember was how bad it was at the end and how everything turned out. I miss talking to her, but not seeing her or hearing about her life, she was a good friend, but I will not reopen that line of communication. Oh well, other than that things are great. There are days when i think about Kristi and how she is doing and there are days where she is so far from my mind. I guess that is where the healing begins. But me writing about her is not good...... So onto my week, I decided not to race in Indiana, but in Chicago all weekend. The competition in Chicago will be top notch and I mean top notch. I want to see how hard it really is... I want to hurt and test my body. Other than that Grattan is Wednesday and regardless of what the Ada boys want to do I may have my own agenda. I know I am filthy strong, so I am gonna lay it all down. I am not worried about results or anything other than punishing my body for what I have done wrong. I have always tried to be everything to everyone and that ends now. I am here for me, not anyone else. If you want to come along for the ride then try to suck my wheel, or something else, haha. OK I better roll, gotta get up early for a morning ride, then work, then another ride. Yeah the life of a cyclist gotta love it!!!

Somebody help me change this animal I have become!!!

Ah so another day and another experience. I woke up today feeling like I was run over by a train, I mean literally my knees were fuct!!! After a bit I started to feel OK and after a mocha from the coffee shop I was ready to roll. Me and Luke were meeting at Water Street Coffee Shop on Oakland at noon, but I received a call from DA (who turned 21 last night) to come and see something real quick, and as I had time to spare I flipped around and headed down Howard St. to meet up with him for a minute. Total waste of my time to go meet him, but I still beat Luke to the Coffee Shop anyways, so all was good. Luke finally got his team bike in and it was nice to see him out on it . We then waited another 10 minutes for Jeff, but left and he met up with us down the road. We rode a nice little 2 hour loop out in the country and it felt good. When I got back and unclipped I felt how bad my knee really is. I almost could not get my leg over my bike, which is scary. I never get sore, so I know something is seriously wrong. Time to be cautious and go easy for a few days. Although I am racing Wednesday at Grattan raceway in Grand Rapids, then Saturday and Sunday in Indiana, and Monday in Chicago. So 4 races in 6 days will be even better for the knee. I have never done the Wednesday night race in Grand Rapids, but The Ada-Alltel boys asked me to come up so we can try a few things. Here is what I am going to try......attack as much as I can. It is a training race, so I will get some good training out of it. Then Saturday and Sunday should be fun, as The Great Race in Elkhart is always fast, especially the criterium which is a wide open 4 corner crit. Then Monday is a holiday and I am doing the Pro Quad Cities race. So I am really busy this week with all of that and working 32 hours also. One final note, Jeff and I were kicking ourselves today for not just attacking the group we were in with about 3-5 miles to go. He said if me and him would have just attacked them we could have held the peloton off together and we could have split the money after the race. Thinking about it we really should have, but that is bike racing, you have to be strong, but sometimes smarts wins out over strength. Next time I am in a break away that is not working together I am just going to hammer away and go alone if I have to. Ok time for some rest and then some Giro watching, then work. Later all.

Wednesday- 1 Hour 15 Minutes very easy. Knee really sore today.
Thursday- 2 Hours 30 Minutes. Really windy, knee starting to feel a bit better.
Friday- 1 Hour 45 Minute Pre race ride.
Saturday- 30 Minute Warm-up, Kensington Race- 2 Hours 45 Minutes, 30 Minute Cool-down
Saturday- 2 Hours 30 Minutes Post Race ride to clear the Lactic Acid out of the legs.
Sunday- 2 Hours 30 Minutes, nice ride with Luke and Jeff.

Week Total- 19 Hours 45 Minutes
Race Notes- Be smarter in breakaways and work on my jumps. All in all though a very good race.

What a Difference a Year makes!!!

OK, to start off I did not really sleep last night and I had to get up at 330 AM to get to the race by 6 AM. I wasn't too optimistic about my chances as my knee has been bad. I got there and the guys showed up right after and I got my new gear, yeah!! You may not recognize me as our colors are now red, white and black! I was the only one on the team to get jersey and bibs everyone else got jerseys only, so I felt I had to make it well deserved! The race went well, I attacked a few times but never got a gap, then 5 guys attacked while I was just getting brought back into the group ( I think) so I couldn't go with it. 3 more guys attacked later with Brent Bookwalter in it and no one wanted to even try to match it. Then with 1 lap to go I decided it was time for a go and I saw a break forming. There were 6 guys in it and only myself and Ben Whitehead were pulling on the front and I went OFF on the guys not doing any work, we could have made it if they would have pulled and they know this too. I lost a lot of respect for Stan today even though he is a great rider. Then coming up the last climb as we were caught I attacked with 600 meters to go, I had a gap but looked back and it was single file coming into the sprint with 45 guys sitting behind me. I got swamped with 300 meters to go and i was kinda pissed, but I gave it a shot. After the race I got some very encouraging words from Jeff, Jay, and Ben. Jeff told me he wanted to attack when I did and it was great to see me so active. I told him I felt like I had to prove I can race with these guys and all he said is " YOU CAN, YOU ARE REALLY STRONG". Jay told me great job and I said thanks and he looked me in the eye and he said, " Jeremy I am serious, you have to learn to take a compliment." I guess I just want to do better, can anyone blame me for that. I see myself as having a lot to prove, but obviously I don't, because the State Champ doesn't just throw words around like that. Coming from them it means more than most say to me!!! I raced not being afraid and it paid off, maybe one day it will work when I can come to the line alone and have some time to enjoy it and celebrate!!! I was amazed how easy it went and how fast the race went by. 70 miles of racing is never easy, but today was not hard at all. I guess being completely committed and focused on it has paid its dues! Lastly, Mr. Olson, stop being lazy and worry about yourself in the race, I do not have to close down gaps for you or worry about my line into corners, as I am in front of you I control my own line. It is sad that an ex-coach can be so amateur when he thinks he is so-pro!!! Who really says "hold your line anyway"??? Grow up Mark!!! OK, I am way too tired and I need a nap, then some more riding, but very easy. I finished better in the pro field today then I did in the Cat. 3 field last year!!! Things could not be better!!! Later!!!

POST #100 OH YEAH!!!

Ok so here is post 100. Today was good, I left work around noonand went for a ride, note to all of you who call me to ride.... DO NOT tell me to just spin around waiting, I literally went up and down Oakland 10 times waiting for ur ass and you never showed or called me back, JACKASS!!! But good news is my knee feels normal, or as close as its gonna get for tomorrow. No new galsses for tomorrow, but we will have the new jerseys in!!! Its me, Baar and bubbles for Ada so we have a few options, but I know I may be in the best shape out of all of us. I actually did some sprints today and they went great, felt good to let loose. Tomorrow is going to be HUGE, 76 guys so far in the Pro 1/2 race and I will not just sit and wait, time to make things happen. I am not afraid od these guys, I know they are better, but if I want to get better I have to go after it. Now next week is also very busy, 3 races in 3 days in Indy and Chicago. I only work 4 days also, so yeah life is very good. I went and watched the Pistons game tonight with the Algonac crew plus about 8 others. It was awesome, except Andy was there with his Cavaliers shirt on and everyone was yelling ASSHOLE the whole 4th quarter at him. A few guys even bought him shots, haha. I just had a burger and laughed with my good friends. Nothing else is new really, just looking ahead to tomorrow, OK I better nod off, I have to leave in 5 hours for the race, wish me luck......Later!!!

Yeah I want that!!

So no matter what i do I am always running around like a chicken with my head cut off.... AHHH life is really busy. Worked 40 hours alreayd this week, and have been riding a bit here and there. I actually got some really good news about a new job. Due to the fact that I know people and people seem to think I am a hard worker this has gotten my foot in the door. I will not say where, because I will not jinx myself, but lets just say it is a step in the right direction. I also received word that Jake and Brent are racing tomorrow, uh oh, well that means it will be SUPER hard and really fun. I am pumped, but I will write more later, I have to wake up at 330 AM!!! EWWW just to go race, oh well thats the life I guess! Later!

don't count der kaiser out yet!!!

WOW, what a difference a week and a half make! Jan Ullrich is back and I think he will be ready for the tour. He just crushed everyone in the Giro TT except for Basso. Jan won and there were huge time gaps, Basso caught Cunego and Cunego started 5 minutes ahead of him. At there level that is very hard to do. Now I think Basso and Salvodelli are the top 2 Giro contenders. But come Tour time watch out for big Jan!!! OK, so update on my life. My knee feels better today, but felt horrible last night. I am going to try and race this weekend and see how it feels. Then on Sunday me and the boys are going to go watch the Tigers play the Reds. Last night I may have went to watch the Pistons game with Adam, Nicky and Holly and gotten a lil tipsy for a bit, but I was normal by about 11 PM. I feel torn between doing the right thing in my head and the right thing in my heart. I know Kristi really doesn't want me around, but it just hurts to come to that realization. I talked to the folks about it and my mom put it best, "nothing I say will make it better or change the fact that you are upset about it." I really want the best for her, even though I still love talking to her, so saying that I may not call anymore. I know she is hurting inside about her ex and it just makes me sad to know she is hurting. I guess friends put it best, if somone wants to be with you then they will, if not then it is not worth worrying about how they are doing or how they are feeling. Things progressed way too fast with me and her and I believe it was a case of her trying to see something in me that she saw in JH, but you can't go looking for someone to be in your life when you can't forget about someone else. I have to think about what I want and what she wants at the same time, the best thing to do is not call her or try to talk to her, because it will just cause worse feelings. I just hope she can figure everything out for herself, because I have figured everything out. It is going to take time, but it is the right thing to do.... I think? I also decided that I am going to try to get into cyclingcenter in Belgium for next season. This means sending them all of my cycling info, doing testing to see where I am really at in my progression and then the decision is up to them. Josh told me it is very expensive, but I will learn a lot. If I really want to take the next step in cycling then I have to do this. I have to say thanks to Adam, Nicky, and Holly for last night, I have known you guys for a long time...maybe too long haha, but you guys are the greatest friends and no matter how long between visits nothing ever changes between us. I must also apologize to Lindsay for my display of total anarchy last night, but you didn't have to choke me for it, haha. OK, gotta go look at the apt for next year!!! Later!

Bored so here is another one!!!

http://midwestcyclinggroup.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=528. Note how I am on the top of the list! Hopefully the race shows me that too, one can hope and dream.....right???? Also I found a new song or two, one by Blue October- Hate Me, and another by Redman and Methodman- Da Rockwilda!!! I am out!

I may be fast afterall!!!

So today was good and bad, good because i left work early to ride, bad because i found out how bad my knee really is!!! It is sore, painful and swollen and getting worse it seems. I run the risk of injuring it more if I continue, but I am not throwing away my season after all my training. That is part of an athletes life, train to race or train and get injured. I did get an autograph request today and i was amazed. A few young looking chaps were driving when I was on my Time Trail bike and I see they are yelling something at me. I got to the light and stopped and all they said was, "wow you are "f#$king fast man, you were going 42 MPH." All i could say in return was, "I guess you were speeding then huh?" They asked me for an autograph and I thought it was a joke but the kid looked serious as hell. I could not oblidge his request as I do not carry a pen with me, haha. I switched bikes and rode easy for a bit on my road bike after that. As I am coming home down Oakland, I punched it to get ahead of a car on a downhill and got stopped at another light, I look over to see if I made the person mad in the car and the lady just smiled rolled down her window and said, " you know you are a little bad ass on that thing don't you?" I laughed and shrugged my shoulders at her. It is amazing to me that people actually think I am good at this, OK so I was riding as fast or faster than a few cars, they only have engines in them right. My legs are like pistons firing at times, but today was really not a good day on the ride. The sun did come out and it felt great to sweat on a training ride. OK, I have to get back to work and finish my shift. I am getting my smith optics glasses on Saturday, yes they were free. Just a perk of doing what I do and sacrificing my body and life for cycling. I need a "real" job though, I am sick of going into work everyday dreading the Munch, so I am going hunting on Thursday!!! Until next time keep your nose out of the wind and sit on wheels until the sprint, if you can keep up with me!!Later!!

Sunday- 3 hours 45 minutes. Rain and cold again as usual
Monday- 3 Hours 15 Minutes. did this in 2 rides, had some diarreha problems and a stomach bug is in me!!!
Tuesday- Stomach bug still there, knee is swelling up, still managed 2 Hours 15 Minutes.

Um Yeahhhhhhh!!!

Ok so today I slept in and by sleeping in I mean rolling around from 8 AM to 11 AM because I can't sleep past 8!!! Then I went for a morning spin around noon. I have found it again, the will to hurt. I don't know why my body was in shut down mode, but a lot happened lately. Then i saw the Giro stage events and it was for the sprinters. Then i went out for my second ride and went really easy, or easy for me. Then i sat around watching some of that 70's show. Before I went to work I had to drop some stuff off to Emil and Kristi, we have had Emils yakima tray for almost a year and I finally got it back to him, I really miss his sarcasm around..... Then what i thought would be an awkward appearance was not awkward at all. Just to see Kristi was a blessing. I saw her new place and its awesome, pretty spacious. Then i left, but I just wanted clarity of the whole situation. She told me that it would not be fair to me and truthfully I greatly appreciate that. I don't know when we will talk again or when we will see each other, but I really do care about her and I know she cares, but it is just obvious that she is not over her ex and I can fully understand that. I know it is hard to forget about someone, but the way i did it was no contact at all. It is hard but it helps. I do not need to do this with kristi because there are no hard feelings over it all. I can be friends with her and if she realizes she does want to be with me someday then that is her choice, if not I know there is someone there who I can trust and confide in. I miss her and will miss her for a while, but it will always be great to see her and just be in her presence. I have to give a major thank you to someone who i have not mentioned in this blog, you know who you are and I do not have to tell you how much you have helped. Thanks for being an unbiased friend in every aspect. Alright I better get going I have to wake up in 4 and a half hours to ride before work, then work till 6 PM, then ride some more, then work on my tubulars with Josh. Later!!

Bad Bad Basso

So today was an excellent day, got in a great hard ride and then relaxed and cleaned up the place. I also did some laundry and watched part of season 4 of that 70's show. I bought season 4 today and this is the best set yet!!! Before I get to far ahead of myself, I also got to watch the GIRO today. The first true mountain stage, and it was incredible. I think I said Basso and Cunego were two of my favorites and boy was I right... I think i may have a job in this, I think I would be a great director sportif... Anyways with 4 k to go today Cunego attacked and Basso was the only one able to react, but he went right by and just rode away from Cunego, seated the entire time. Cunego just couldn't hold the wheel. I was amazed how effortless Basso looked... I hope someday i can look that effortless in a big race while riding away from people. Today i decided I will dedicate everything to becoming the best rider I can be, because I have been slacking the last few months and not always doing what it takes to be better, the little things. Other than that things are amazingly great. I had the day off and just got to think about where I want my life to go. A lot has happened this past week, but hell everything can't always go right. So now I am off into the abyss, I can be better and I know it.

Feeling Alive

First off I want to say Happy Mothers Day to my caring and wonderful mom, you know how much you mean to us mom and we love you. I couldn't imagine a mom that is as great as her.... Thanks for everything. OK, so i have been going over a lot in my head and I am alive as ever. Things that make me feel alive are few but they include my family and my cycling, also great friends and even some people who will never understand how much they really mean to me. So the other day i had a slight "bindle" ( Aussie talk for a crash) and did not realize how bad my knee really was until this mornings ride. Seriously it is not good, but i am strong and it will be fine. I realized that when I am out riding with my tunes on nothing really matters, things just dissappear into the abyss. I am so strong on the bike right now, the strongest I have ever been and it feels good to know this. So I am going to get another ride in today and then relax and think. I talked to kristi today and it felt good to just talk to her. I do not know what is going to happen with her, but all in all being a friend to her is all I can do, I just hope she realizes that I am still here to talk to about anything. This is the first person I have not judged on anything and that felt good to have someone that I could trust. I can not look back and say it was not worth it because it was so worth it. This week my plate is FULL, I have to work 40 hours and then get up at about 4 AM on Saturday to drive over to the East side of the state for the Kensington Valley Road Race. I better have good sensations because last year was not a good race for me. I had stomach problems in the first 5 miles, but still finished with the group after 56 miles. This year is around 70 Miles so lets keep our heads up and look for good things. Life is great at the moment, not all of life, but what can you do about that???

I must be amusing!

So I guess everyone and the mother has been reading my blog. I have gotten a lot of rave reviews on this.What can i say I guess I am an interesting young chap. So I have to refrain from some things in here, and i understand why. All I want to know is what is going on with everything right now. I would say this past week has been one hell of a bumpy ride. I would have to liken it to the race I did last weekend, one minute smooth sailing, the next its mass chaos and potholes everywhere. I am not sad, upset, dissappointed, or even phased by anything that has happened. I have came to realize everyone is different and has to do for them. Still i worry that someone I care a lot about is being led to think differently because of a "friend". I hope I see the person I knew sometime soon, because it is not right for a friend to judge how you want to live. Now onto the Jeremy riding report........ rain/crap/crap/and more crap. I went out today in a moment of non rain, but sure enough it poured 10 minutes in. Maybe the lord doesnt want cyclists on the roads this weekend. Who knows, i also ripped my brand new rain jacket.....DAMN IT!!! Trying to remove clothing while still moving on a bike is never easy, but i did not think it would rip. Oh well we live and we learn. Now I have the choice of going to this MAC party tonite or not????? What to do what to do? I may pop in and say hi to some old friends or I may go and stay and hang out, but time will tell. I just don't want to be in an awkward situation and if we know jeremy he can make this pretty damn awkward at times. So to thos of you who read this and enjoy it , it is my pleasure to accomodate you. To those of you who read it and hate it, it is also my pleasure to make your life less exciting. HAHA, I am here with my heart on my sleeve, if you want to rip it in half do so, because my heart is very very big.

Wednesday- 3 hours 45 minutes, half TT bike. Very hard ride!
Thursday- OFF
Friday- 2 hours 30 minutes, really bad weather!!!
Saturday- 3 hours, more bad weather but a lil warmer!!!

are your friends really caring or trying to be the commander in your life???

I have came across a conclusion to friends. Are they really caring or are they trying to see if they can control peoples lives??? I have noticed that some people you would consider very good friends are just trying to ruin what you hold very dear. I have also noticed that I may change around certain friends, around Louie, lindsay, Sacks and some others I let my guard down and act crazy. they have seen it all from me. All I guess i am trying to prove is that look into your heart and see if a friend has talked you into something that you may not have wanted to do. This is not a friend, a friend doesn't preach what is right and what is wrong to you, they accept you for you! What you love to do, who you want to be, and how you want to live. I know that deep down something people really do not want to do is sometimes changed by how they think their friends may view it. Oh well, you live and you learn. i am just very happy with the friends I have. I would like to say more, but who wants to read that? Louie, i am gonna miss ya man, call me if ya need anything and u better need a lil Jer bear time in your life once in a while.... I am counting on that my boy!!!!