Ow that hurts

So I figured out why I am never happy with myself. I am constantly being reminded by people close to me of how I always fuck up. Excuse my french there, but honestly, would you rather have me lie to you and then you find out after the fact? I understand it is stupid to speed, but it happened and I told my parents it wasn't a good thing and I am getting shit for it a month after the fact. What can you do though, my life is a fucking blur. To top that off tonight at the Wednesday night ride I have some Gent I have never really met say, " I have never seeen this guy make a pull in my life." And he gestured towards me. Never make a pull??? Well he is one of those guys who sits on the back at these rides hoping to survive. Funny thing though, two weeks ago he was not in the group after some of us made some hard pulls......asshole. So I am pissed off so much that I just want to kill someone or something. I am even contemplating not going home this weekend now, because my mom is pissed at me, sorry I was having a bad day and i hung up on ya mom. I know she wouldn't call if she didn't care, but do I constantly have to be reminded that I made a mistake??? I owned up to it right away, I guess I suck at life. I better go to bed now, cuz I hate everything else. Goodnight, and I love you mom!!!

Monday- 2 Hours 30 Minutes. Half road bike, half TT bike.
Tuesday- 4 Hors 30 Minutes.
Wednesday- 2 Hours 30 Minutes.